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I can't wait... video of Samuel memories made by his Daddy

Celebrating in Heaven (Easter 2013)

   Can you imagine the celebration in heaven every day?  I can't wait!!! I imagine Samuel surrounded by the most magnificent colors, the most glorious singing and our precious Redeemer.  One of my children asked me tonight if Christmas or Easter was more important... and I told her that they were both important because we celebrate Jesus' birth and then his death and resurrection.  But then I thought Easter was the completion of why He came and I am overwhelmed with His presence and His Gift.  God came to earth, as a man and lived a perfect life and then was made to suffer and die a horrible death... for us.  He did this so that He could pay for our sins. 
We sin,
everyday and
HE paid the price so that we could be redeemed.
He saved us from what we deserve...
hell.
 Thank you Jesus! 
   Now I know that Samuel is healed and whole.  He is free from the burdens of this world and is full of Heaven's blessings.  He is with the Father and is in better hands now.  Of course, I selfishly want him with me, but I do have the assurance that I will be with him again.
 I was thinking that not only is my precious child with my Savior and Redeemer Jesus, but he is also with those who you have lost.
He has also met our favorite Bible characters... his namesake Samuel who was also called at an early age to serve the Lord in a way not many understood. 
Adam and Eve, Noah, Daniel, David, Mary and Joseph, the disciples...
this gives me chill bumps!!  What a glorious day it is everyday in Heaven and how wonderful it is to have Easter to celebrate Jesus and His resurrection (of course, we celebrate daily, but you know what I mean)!
   My family just celebrated Annaleigh's birthday and we will be celebrating Tim's tomorrow (on Easter) and this is so difficult without a piece of our heart with us.  The Lord is providing great comfort peace to us all and carrying us each day.  This doesn't mean that our hearts don't ache.  It is unbearably painful sometimes and the tears come at unexpected times, but we keep our focus on the Lord and His plan.  "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts'" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Thankful for His promises!  Rejoice!

John 11:25, "Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the Life, he who believes in Me will live even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die."

Easter 2008 memories

Thank you Lord that in You, Samuel lives!!!!!

”I still would have chosen you”

I Still would have chosen you - By Terri Banish

”If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs", I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed", I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith", I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river", I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering", I still would have chosen you

If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you.”

4 months today.

Miss him more everyday.

12 days of Christmas...gifts

 We have been blessed beyond measure by so many praying for our family, acts of service and love by so many friends.  I know the Lord gave us many gifts to help us get through this first Christmas without Samuel.  I wanted to share some things that helped our family and special ways we celebrated through our grief this year.  I am going to be writing several posts about this, so please share!  I hope that others will be inspired to do these things that helped us, for another family that needs it!

 

This year the Christmas season was going to be difficult...and it's not just a day, it's a whole season!  Even though we have His JOY , it was hard to be excited without our boy.  He loved the lights and decorations!  He loved going to The Merry Christmas Tree Farm, his therapists house, to get our Christmas tree each year!  He loved presents and toys!  He loved reading about Jesus' birth and singing Christmas Carols!  He loved it all.

 

 

So, as we had entered into the season and I was trying to get going on everything,

 we were surprised one morning with an exciting treat!

 

This was sitting at the door on December 14th.

Attached was a note:

"On the 1st day of Christmas... A partridge in a pear tree?

 How about peeps and pear bread?"

~imagine our excitement!!

 

Inside the box was homemade bread, pear preserves and peppermint peeps!

YUMMY

 

 

The next morning we dared look outside and there was another box!

the note read: "On the 2nd day of Christmas... 

how about turtle chocolates and 2 packs of Doves?"

**double yummy!!

(This is fun for me, too)

 

The next morning came and we were racing to the door!

"On the 3rd day of Christmas... French Hens??  How about French hair?!"

(shampoo, conditioner and hair supplies)

 

How fun!!!

 

Every day it was exciting to wake up and see what was at the door!

 

"On the 4th day of Christmas...four calling birds...we got it right, or

 did it say four cawing birds?? we tried!"

 bird feeder, bird food and 4 bird crafts

 

By this time everyone is asking me who is doing this?? 

I have no idea, but it is awesome and happy for our family and I am so grateful!

 

 

"On the 5th day of Christmas... 5 golden rings! 

 at $1750.00 per ounce, you didn't expect real gold, did you? Merry Christmas!"

5 ring pops and a bubble ring kit!

 

 



"On the sixth day of Christmas... six geese a-laying??

 Oh no, we thought it said 'six Chick fil A's'!"

so carefully wrapped in the eggs are

$5.oo gift cards to Chick fil A!!!!!

I am loving this :)

 



"On the 7th day...swans a swimming.?

 Definitely not as cool as penguins a dancing!"



inside our box was the movie Happy Feet 2

(the kids have watched it over and over),

 tootsie rolls and penguin body wash!

 

 

"On the 8th day...hmmmmm....how about

 a milk bath, hot cocoa and a latte candle?"

sounds great to me :)

 

this was also at the door on the 8th day

"the swan wishes to thank the penguins for holding down the fort until his arrival.

Strong headwinds caused the delay. Merry Christmas!"

so funny

 

Now on the 9th morning, there was nothing at the door.

We tried not to be disappointed, but I remembered I didn't turn the outside light off all night,

 so I told the kids that it may come, but I was afraid our "secret gifter" was afraid of being seen...

But... later that afternoon at the other door,

it arrived!

"On the 9th day of Christmas... we have to protect our feet if we are going to dance. First things first"

 



Fuzzy warm socks for us all!!

(Our gifter is so clever)

 

"On the 10th day of Christmas...leaping , flying? Batman did both! 

So can angry birds. That's all I got."



An awesome game of Angry Birds!!!

(which we play almost everyday)

 

 

"On the 11th day...bag pipes wouldn't fit. How 'bout icing for piping?"

sugar cookie baking mix and decorating kit!

 

Now of course, Christmas day was here and I thought of this person, who everyday is sneaking to our house, delivering a gift... this is Christmas morning, surely there won't be anything.

Why did I doubt this amazing gifter???!!! 

 

"On the 12th day of Christmas...12 Drummers Drumming,
 edible drumsticks are so much more exciting!
 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"

 

and there were 2 packs of Super Nugget drumsticks(ice cream cones) in dry ice!

YUMMY!  We all are still enjoying those!

 

And then Tim got excited about the dry ice...so then they made some concoction with it.

 

 

And had a happy morning!

 

Thankful for givers today.

 

We still don't know who did this for our family, but it was truly a treat and blessing to us. I pray that I can bless another family some day, as this person has blessed us!

 

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!

 

2 Corinthians 9:7-8

"Each one must do as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything for every good deed."

 

 

The Samuel Cutliff Research Fund - The United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation

I wanted to add a tab on my blog, so that others could know about Samuel's research fund...but it won't let me add this tab?? If anyone knows what I am doing wrong, I would love to know!  Thanks!

New year 2013

This year end is different. 2012 was the hardest, most painful year of my life. Watching Samuel struggle and in pain and losing him was more than I could bear.  My mind can't even fathom that he is really gone, its too much.

 

 We miss his sweet smile,

 

giggles with Daddy,

 

 

brothers and sisters,

 

 

having fun,

 

 

 his playful eyes,

 

 

, his curls,

 

 

 his kisses

 

our family togetherness,

 

 

and so much more.

 

 Pictures comfort and bring sadness. He taught so many people so much and brought to our family joy that is indescribable. He had special needs and with his absence I miss that beautiful special world. I don't want him to be suffering, but I selfishly want my little boy here. 

As we face this new year without our little boy, I pray that the Lord will continue to use Samuel's life to influence and Teach. I also pray He will continue to bring comfort and Hope to those in pain.

I can't wait for the day when beauty will rise! I'm thankful today for the Hope that one day all of our pain will be gone and we will be whole again.

”Out of these ashes... beauty will rise and we will dance among the ruins We will see Him with our own eyes Out of these ashes... beauty will rise For we know, joy is coming in the morning... in the morning...”

"Steven Curtis Chapman - Beauty Will Rise - Lyrics" on YouTube

 

I wanted to share some treasured memories of this year.  Thankful for each day that we were blessed with Samuel and storing these moments in my heart forever.

A sunset he painted for us after his heaven going.