As we are surrounded by the Christmas season, we are missing our boy so! I went to his spot and decorated a couple of weeks ago. We have a flag, a beautiful wreath and bow from a dear friends, a shiny tree and snowman that another sweet friend found for him. It feels good to do things for him, even though it makes me sad, I also want to be near where his earthly body is and do things for him! My sweet friend, who's son passed away 3 days before Samuel shared a song with me, ”Christmas in Heaven”... Here is a small part:
”Is there snow falling down on the streets of gold? Are the mansions all covered in white? Are you singing with angels silent night? I wonder... what Christmas in Heaven is like.”
I can only try and imagine. I know it is beyond what our mind can fathom. This Christmas season is hard. With pain and sadness surrounding so many. The empty place in our home and hearts. Even though we weren't sure if Samuels strength could press on, walking down the road of not sure ...to him being gone is something that you cannot prepare for. I miss holding his hand and cuddling with him. I miss his curls. I miss his tube beeping. I miss pushing his wheelchair around...And so so much more! We are all changed and our family will never be whole again.
I am thankful the Lord has given me something to celebrate. I was focusing on my sadness and grief and everyone else was excited about Christmas...then He reminded me to celebrate Him! Without Jesus coming to earth, born in that manger, we would not have this promise of heaven and this gift of eternal life. My precious son is in heaven because of Christ's ultimate gift of dying on the cross for our sins. So, I need to rejoice and be ever grateful! I was lost, but now I am found. Praise the Lord for this most precious gift.
I know celebrating without my little boy will be difficult... until I am with him in heaven, but if I keep focused I can have JOY this season.
(I know so many pray for us daily, thank you! We need it! Also, many are lifting up the families who lost their precious children last week, this pain is unbearable. Will you also remember a few friends of ours who also won't have their child with them this Christmas got the first time? The Edwards, the Eatons, the Jacobs, the Burgess', and the Winstanley family. There are many more, who are missing their children daily and this will be their 2nd, 3rd or more year trying to figure out how to live without part of their heart. Thank you so much) <3
*** beautiful song...
Watch "Christmas In Heaven" on YouTube
Picture is from last year <3